The Loop Rally

Just over half way through each phase, field base sends out a vehicle to visit all the project sites to take in supplies if needed and mail and to make sure everything is ok with the groups. On the second phase field base sent out the three wise monkeys - Chris, Tom and Colin. Here's what went on......or so they say!

THE LOOP ROTI RALLY; The “official” inside story.
August 14th Kota Kinabalu
Wooooo!!! Yeah baby yeah! On the 10th August Raleigh International Malaysia’s 3 hottest playboys on expedition, jumped into the low rider Pimp Mobile (Bravo 2) and cruised round Sabah to check out the hot spots of the hippest social circuit.

Leaving early with new Welsh Medic Matthew Morgan, the crew wheel spun out of Field Base and roared off in the general direction of Mount K. With a quick refuel in a Roti shop in Ranau, some inspired driving from Logs Guru Colin around some logging trucks of dubious safety, we arrived at Party Location #1 - first stop Imbak Canyon, home of the mighty Alpha 3! ROAR!

The welcome was subdued, as A3 peered out of corners and cautiously approached the car like frightened orang-utans, but all such inhibitions were swept away as the overpowering siren like call of clinking coke cans and rustling of snickers wrappers brought them running. Leading the charge was “I left my boots on the balcony at Borneo Paradise” Heather, wallet in one hand and sticking two fingers up at the world, she dived into the back of the Bravo, quickly followed by Beth and Kim.

Yes guys, the reason you had no Mars or Snickers for the rest of the loop was because Alpha 3 shovelled them away like Sainsbury’s crate packers on overtime.
Having satiated their desires we were entertained with a pleasant walk through primary rainforest to A3 HQ where we swam in the river and were transported back to the smells of home with a good ol’ fashioned beef curry and rice.

Unfortunately our time at A3 was brief as we had to make tracks to get to the next event on the social calendar – Pirates of Danum Valley! Ooo arrr! With the wind in his hair and half a ton of dust in our mouths, Tom Carter, the local ladies man took us out of the jungle. A quick stop in Telupid for a cheeky roti before we crossed never ending palm oil fields to make it to Batu Puteh, where we picked up our own personal paparazzi (well, there’s not point being on the social circuit if there is no one to take photos of you!). With one eye on the elephant dung, one eye on the look out for monkeys and a general jedi sixth sense on the road for the ever menacing logging trucks and Malaysian drivers we made it into Danum for best dinner event in town.

The spread was phenomenal as all hands went on deck to prepare this veritable feast – deep fried breaded mushrooms, garlic butter, sausage rolls, chocolate crunchies to name but a few of the culinary delights conjured up by Alpha 4 under the guidance of Natasha, Emma, Tara, Harriet, and “Changeover-is-cancelled” Jess.. The Playboys were so impressed that rumour has it a 7th Alpha Group will be specially created for the 3rd phase – Alpha Fieldbase – Project Cooking.

Surrounded by the vulture like bearded pig searching for cast-offs, to the wild sounds of unidentified insects and in the potential presence of several “Kill You in 20 Minutes” Spiders, the group battled with piratical panache and swashbuckle to defeat the spread, but needless to say left overs were left….over?

The boys were knackered by this point having sustained several injuries, mainly caused through over eating and to the gentle strumming of Alan’s guitar, Colin soon added his own beats remix as he accompanied Alan with his bass like snores.

Unfortunately this continued through the night with the undersigned being subjected to the surround sound like nocturnal rumbles (nasal and anal) of Colin, Tom and Travonte “Motherf**ker!” Saunders! The morning brought little relief as a maestral rendition of Eddie Murphy’s “ROOOOOXAAANNNE” rang out through the jungle to wake the party pooped Alpha 4.

The boys were sad to go, but go they had to, to make it to the final party on time – the crème de la crème, the place to be seen – CAVE MAN PARTY IN PAUS with Alpha 1! OOGA OOGA!!

With the standard Roti stop in Lahad Datu, Colin moved us marine style like a knife across the throat to Paus. Things were a bit hot and so the boys cooled down by the river, colin got confused and thought it might be a nudist beach, but once that was clarified and he got his shorts back on, the playboy players got their party gear on – 2 leaves and a stick – and rolled into Paus!

Aaaaaggh!! AMMBUSSSH! Those pesky A1 tried to tricks us my precious, but no worries, Colin wasn’t in the marines for nothing and his inner eye foresaw the danger so that we could arm ourselves with…..water balloons!!

The original cavemen and women of PausBut Rome wasn’t built in a day (what does that have to do with this article? Nothing I just like the sound of it) and having got past the initial Neanderthal like communication we eventually came to an agreement that food, rounders and games should be had. Alpha 1 had prepared a special day for our Birthday Boy Colin who turned 64 on Monday – Happy Birthday in the style of Marilyn Monroe, a lap dance by Chris Bailey and a kiss and a cuddle from none other than myself (all in the name of protecting Helen who had originally been sitting next to our very own living OAP – I didn’t think she could have taken the sandpaper like features on her cheek, nor would it have been within Raleigh Rules. The sacrifices I have to make…..)

And so The Playboys and the Pimp Mobile returned home, knackered, stuffed, dusty but extremely happy with the 72 hour Party Marathon.

We’d like to thank The Crazy Cavemen of PAUS, The MIGHTY IMBAK and the Pirates of Danum Valley for their kind hospitality on Loop! We’d also like to thank all the ROTI shops of Sabah, last count was 15 rotis in 3 days for Chris!